With NBA free agency underway, the Carmelo Anthony sweepstakes officially has begun. The next week figures to be an eventful one for Melo, and he’s kicked off the globe-trotting with a visit to the Chicago Bulls today. He’ll presumably head to Texas tomorrow to meet with Houston Rockets and Dallas Mavericks, killing two birds with one stone. Additional meetings with other potential suitors, the Phoenix Suns and Los Angeles Lakers, are likely before he begrudgingly returns to New York. While LeBron won’t even entertain this type of rigorous travel, this is a big offseason for Anthony, so he’ll get some more frequent flier miles. We took a peek at what his travel itinerary might look like.
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Tuesday, July 1 -- Chicago
8:15 a.m. flight to Chicago. Soundtrack: Kanye West, My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy. Listen to “Power” at least five times.
11 a.m. United Center Tour.
-Take selfie with the Spirit.
-Ask coach Tom Thibodeau why there are Vines of Doug McDermott already running suicides.
1 p.m. Lunch with Joakim Noah at Embeya.
-Inquire about Derrick Rose’s whereabouts.
-Discuss appearances in Lenny Cooke documentary and Taste of Chicago
-Joke about Carlos Boozer’s graffiti hairline.
2:37 p.m. Visit Harold’s Chicken Shack with Noah; compare it to Crown Fried Chicken.
4 p.m. Stop by Michael Jordan’s Highland Park mansion. Wonder what the closet space is like.
Wednesday, July 2 -- Houston
6:30 a.m. flight to Houston. Soundtrack: “25 Lighters” on repeat.
10:00 a.m. Visit House of Dereon headquarters
-Ask if they host any sort of gala.
10:30 a.m. Tour Toyota Center.
-Get an up-close look at coach Kevin McHale’s hairpiece, see if it’s made of the same Malaysian shit as LaLa’s weaves.
12 p.m. Shop for 10-gallon hats, bolo ties and cowboy boots with James Harden.
1:30 p.m. flight to Dallas. Soundtrack: “9 A.M. in Dallas” on repeat.
-Look for Raymond Felton at airport McDonald’s.
3 p.m. Tour American Airlines Arena.
-Discuss high-end shopping with Tyson Chandler during brief reunion.
-Expect free throw contest with Dirk Nowitzki.
-Ask coach Rick Carlisle what his In Living Color days were like.
5 p.m. City tour with Mark Cuban
-Entertain Cuban’s horrible jokes about taking jump shots from Dealey Plaza.
Thursday, July 3 -- Phoenix
8 a.m. flight to Phoenix. Soundtrack: No soundtrack; research Suns roster.
11 a.m. Tour of U.S. Airways Center
-Meet with coach Jeff Hornacek; discuss what it’s like playing in the desert and favorite NBA Jam tandems.
1 p.m. Text Lebron James “Nah” regardless.
2 p.m. – 9 a.m. flight to L.A. for 4th of July weekend turn up. Soundtrack: Makaveli, The Don Killuminati: The 7 Day Theory. “To Live & Die in L.A.” on repeat.
Monday, July 7 -- Los Angeles
11 a.m. Tour of Staples Center
-Meeting with Lakers general manager Mitch Kupchak to discuss coaching situation and roster moves.
-Introduction to rookie Julius Randle.
-Game of H-O-R-S-E with Jodie Meeks.
1 p.m. Watch World Cup highlights with Steve Nash.
3 p.m. Meeting with Kobe Bryant
-Collectively try to remember the names of the rest of Lakers’ roster.
5 p.m. Retail therapy on Rodeo Drive.
Tuesday, July 8 -- New York
7 a.m. flight back to New York. Soundtrack: Watch the Throne. “Gotta Have It” on repeat.
-Finally read Eleven Rings: The Soul of Success and The Last Season: A Team in Search of Its Soul
2 p.m. Yoga session with Phil Jackson and James Dolan
-Figure out how to wedge discussion about max contract into talk about advanced yoga positions, zen lessons and the triangle offense.